Where Does the Time Go?

So...it's probably about time for an update, right? Life is hard, but beautiful. It's crazy how often I have epiphanies about absolutely nothing at all and yet so frequently about everything. Somehow my entire summer quite literally slipped away without a single post. You must be wondering what I've been up to.

As far as my 19 Things Before 20 Goes I've Accomplished A Few

7. Acquire a Digital Camera and Take Lots of Pictures.

DONE! Can I just say that I absolutely love having a digital camera? It's basically the best thing in the entire world. Admittedly, more often than not I take pictures of food, random signs, and things that inspire my entire family to say, "What the Crap?" (aka Dance Party Mickey).

6. Run a 5K

I only consider this one to be partially done. Our family is training for the Disneyland Half Marathon of 2011. Consequently, I've been running a lot lately (something I've never really done, but always hated). I'm happy to report that I'm improving. My first 5K was the Farr West 5K in July...I walked...a lot of it. The second was the Clinton City Days 5K about a month later-and I ran a little, and yet again walked most of it. Last week at the gym I ran a 5K in 42 minutes and that was a huge success. It may not be as impressive as an Olympian's time, but the fact that I was able to run longer than three minutes several times is improvement, and that feels awesome to me.

9. Cut my Hair Shorter than Normal

BEST IDEA EVER! I love having my hair shorter! I'd held on to keeping it long all through high school because there was this boy who told me that it was perfect and straight. I'll never let something as simple, but somehow important, be decided for me by a boy.

16. Create a Budget! Stick to it!

I'm first of all very happy to say that I spent the entire summer being employed by the US Census and I'm now a DirecTV customer service rep. While I don't want to stay in the customer service representative position for the rest of my life, I feel really grateful to have a job. I'm seeing the amount of money in my savings account increase and I can't wait to spend it on tuition! There's nothing like taking the semester off from school that shows you just how much you really love school. Even though I was a little burnt out last semester, I've missed learning new things so much. Can't wait to get back! So I've created a budget and I've stuck to it. It feels so awesome to be able to get things that I want, without sacrificing tuition money.

Okay, that's all for now folks. I've got a ten hour shift tomorrow, and I'm exhausted! Good night Neverland!

This Is Why I Desperately Need Employment

So...I finished making my "19 Things Before 20" list on Tuesday night. Since then I have already burned through two books. I'm not going to lie, I'm loving having the time to read (and I really have been doing other stuff too-I helped Lisa paint their summer house all day, pinky promise).

The first book is called "Catching Fire" it's part of a trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Of course, the third book, "Mockingjay" won't be out until August 24...cruel cruel world. Suzanne writes very grippingly and you immediately love her characters, despite the fact that they're occasionally stupid. Did I mention that I basically despise waiting for final books in series to come out? It's awful, and then the author always seems to do something stupid...like turn the male romantic lead into a tree...or just kill him off altogether. So for now I guess I have to wait, because whether or not I'm impatient, it's not coming out any sooner.

The second is called, "My Ridiculous Romantic Obsessions" by Becca Wilhite. Elisha handed it to me last night when we were hanging out, promising that it was going to be darling. It was.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be allowed to read. It gives me all sorts of batty ideas; then again, where would the world be without a few people who believe in the impossible? Not very far, right?

19 Things Before 20

Here they are folks! The 19 things I hope to accomplish before turning 20.

1. Try Every Flavor of Jelly Beans
2. Work for the Insights in Institute the way I work for knowledge in my regular classes
3. Buy My First Car
4. Read the Book of Mormon Again
5. Flirt Shamelessly with Cute Boys
6. Run a 5K
7. Acquire Digital Camera-Take Lots of Pictures
8. 51 Attractions in 1 Day in Disneyland
9. Cut Hair Shorter than Normal
10. Learn 50 New Recipes
11. Finish my Quilts
12. Fill Someone's Rooms with Balloons
13. Finish the Story Left from the First 50,000; Write 50,000 More
14. CONTACTS
15. Build Legitimate Friendships with my Roomies
16. Create a Budget. Stick to it!!!
17. Stop Trading Breakfast for Sleep
18. Read 25 Books Just for Fun
19. Find Small Reasons to Write in My Journal

Talking Walls

So...my walls are officially bare, all that's left on my book case are my text books and my printer (and a random pink flower that must have fallen off one of my pens. Today was the last day of the semester...I'll be here for three days next week then I'm out. It's sort of crazy to think how quickly a year can go by. I'm not going to list the lessons that I've learned or the epiphanies that I've had. I would like to document the words that I pulled off my wall today, bit by bit, until a wall that once had so much character was back to being a plain white wall.

-You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.
-No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world- Dead Poet's Society
-Friendship is born at the moment one perosn turns to another and says, "Wait! You too? I thought I was the only one!"-C. S. Lewis
-Yeah, I'm a streelight chillin' in the heat, I illuminate the stories of the people in the street. Some have happy endings, some are bittersweet, but I know them all and that's what makes my life complete! -In the Heights
-If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. -Jane Austen
-You will need bravery and you will need boldness, because you are enlisted in the Lord's army in the last dispensation. This is not a time of peace. That has been so since Satan arrayed his forces against our Heavenly Father's plan in the pre-mortal existence. We don't know the details of the combat then. But we know one result. Satan and his followers were cast down into the earth. And since the creation of Adam and Eve, the conflict has continued. We have seen it intesify. And the scriptures suggest that the war will become more violent and the spiritual casualties on the Lord's side will mount. -President Henry B. Eyring
-Love, I thought, is stronger than death, or fear of death, for it is by it, by love, that life hold together and advances
-Don't promise me the moon or the stars, just promise you'll stay under them with me.
-Because I love you, I am going to speak to you heart to heart, without mincing words. I have seen that many time individuals have made great sacrifices to go to a distant temple, but when a temple is built close by, within a short time, many do not visit it regularly. I have a suggestion: when a temple is conveniently nearby, small things may interrupt your plans to go to the temple. Set specific goals, considering your circumstances, of when you can and will participate in temple ordinances. Then do no allow anything to interfere with that plan. This patter will guarantee that those who live in the shadow of a temple will be as blessed as are those who plan far ahead and make a long trip to the temple -Elder Richard G. Scott
-Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, ever struggle can be for our experience and our good. Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure. -Elder Robert D. Hales
-Best friends listen to what you don't say
-Without music, life would be a mistake
-It's in my every glance, my heart's an open book, you'd see it all at once if only you would look. -The Little Mermaid
-Brothers and Sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path, utterly alonge, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path-the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of His beloved son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, 'I will not leave you comfortless. My father and I will come to you and abide with you' -Elder Jeffery R. Holland
-For an instant, love can transform the world
-See us winter walking after a storm, it's chill in the wind, but it's warm in your arms. The stop all snow line, may not be true. We've all got our junk, and my junk is you. -Spring Awakening
-The words that escape a friend's mouth are, "I'll be there when you say you need me." But the words that are unheard from a true friend's heart are, "I'll be there...whether you say you need me or not."
-My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith. -President Thomas S. Monson
-Anyone who thinks only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain
-As we daily confront a world full of negativity, doubt, fear, and even dread can creep into our hearts. President Thomas S. Monson has counseled us that 'fait and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other'. In Moroni we read that 'without faith there cannot be any hope'. We must exercise faith to take on life's challenges and changes. It is how we learn and progess. -Steven E. Snow
-A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. -Jane Austen
-A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and can sing it back toyou when you've forgotten the words.
-If I didn't care, more than words can say. If I didn't care, would I feel this way? If this isn't love then why do I thrill? What makes my head go round and round while my heart stands still? -Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day
-Not a day goes by, not a single day. But you're somewhere a part of my life, and it looks like you'll stay. As the days go by. -Merrily We Roll Along
-I bear you my testimony that God the Father lives. He set a course for each of us that can polish and perfect us to be with Him. I testify that the Savior lives. His atonement makes possible our being purified as we keep His commandments and our sacared covenants. And I know from my own experience that He can and will give us strength to rise through every trial. -President Henry B. Eyring
-What are men to rocks and mountains? -Jane Austen
-Be who you are, and say waht you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
-The voice of the Lords is clear and unmistakable. He knows you. He loves you. He wants you to be eternally happy. But according to your God-given agency, the choice is yours. Each one of you has to decide for yourself if you are going to ignore the past and suffer the painful mistakes and tragic pitfalls that have befallen previous generations, experiencing for yourself the devastating consequences of bad choices. How much better your life will be if you will follow the noble example of the faithful followers of Christ such as the Sons of Helaman, Moroni, Joseph Smith, and the stalwart pioneers-and choose, as they did, to remain faithful to your Heavenly Father's commandments. -Elder M. Russell Ballard
-I wish you couldn't figure me out, but you'd always want to know what I was about. -Kate Nash
-One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.
-I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away, but something next to normal, would be okay. Yes, something next to normal, that's the thing I'd like to try, close enough to normal...to get by. -Next to Normal
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4 Days Left to Live-Life Lessons Taught by a Rat

So...it's been two weeks since I last posted about my dear lab rat Grant. He only has four days left to live now. I've actually grown rather fond of the crimson-eyed O.C.D. vermin (and I say vermin in a very loving way). He does the cutest thing where he scraches his head. And I'm really going to miss watching him do that. So, even though his life has been rather short, and he hasn't been all that productive as a lab rat, he has taught me several crucial (or what I consider to be rather important) life lessons. So without further explanation, here are my life lessons taught by a rat (in no particular order).

1. Rats have their own personalities, just like people. For the first week Kimmy and I were desperately struggling to teach Grant what reinforcement was going to sound like. The funny thing is, when he finally passed off magazine training, our lab assistant had to watch him for almost fifteen minutes. You see, he was supposed to go from the back wall to the place where the water is dispensed ten times quickly. Grant however, is a stubborn little bugger and was much more inclined to go to the back wall once, drink the small drop of water he'd earned, then sit in the front corner for a minute or so before returning to the far wall. You could almost see the wheels in his little head turning as he sat in the front corner. He was probably thinking something along the lines of, "I know what you want me to do, but I don't feel inclined to do it right at this very moment, so you're going to have to wait." We have become quite convinced that he is a stubborn and lazy genius.

2. Rats don't always do what you want them to do when you want them to do it, sort of like children. I text my mom every day after the lab, usually to say something along the lines of, "Grant is stupid!" She tends to laugh at me and has commented more than once that this is a great lesson in patience for me that I'll be able to transfer over into parenting. As frustrated as this comment makes me, I know it's right (which in a roundabout way, almost makes things more frustrating). So I'm learning to be patient. VERY PATIENT. There was a day last week when we were only able to deliver ten reinforcers (in comparison to the eighty to a hundred the rats around us were receiving) because Grant sat in the front corner for nearly forty minutes, and then curled up and went to sleep.

3. Know how to utilize your time wisely. While Grant was being lazy and stubborn (as mentioned above) my partner Kimmy and I decided to study for the test we had in our behavior class the next day. That studying reassured me that I knew more of the chapters than I had initially thought, and I was glad that, even if my rat was being a lazy bum, I wasn't.

4. You never know when your time is going to be up, so you'd better make the best of it while you have the chance. This not only applies to the fact that Grant only has four days left to live period, this also relates to the fact that he can only receive water while in the operant chamber. He's in the operant chamber for about fifty minutes each day. If I were a rat who was on water deprivation, those fifty minutes would be pretty significant to me. I think I'd be doing about everything I possibly could to get my water. That's what this life test is like. We're on earth for just a short period of time. But that short period of time is crucial to our spiritual growth. It's a time to prove ourselves to our father in heaven. Doing everything that is right that is going to allow me to return to my heavenly father someday is like what Grant and the other rats do to get water. And like Grant, some days we are stubborn and look out at the world while thinking, "I know what you want me to do, but I don't feel inclined to do so right at this very moment, so you're going to have to wait." I'd like to think that I'm learning to eliminate those moments from my life. I want to do everything in my power during my time in the operant chamber of life, rather than discover that it's the end and I'm still thirsty.

5. You should probably give people just as much chance as you give to a white albino rat. In the beginning, I thought that Grant looked creepy...and sort of ugly. But after watching him struggle to receive water in the operant chamber, even on the first day, I started thinking he was adorable. I know there are many times I don't give people that same chance. I look at them and decide what I think without knowing a single thing about them. I hope to give people the same chance I gave my rat...and I hope that they'll give me that same chance.

Skinner is my B.F.

Part of my Behavior Analysis class is a lab where we have to operantly condition an albino white male rat. The reinforcer that we use is water, so our rats aren't given any water when they aren't in the operant chamber. As a result, apparently the rats have been eating a ton (because their food is unlimited). So far (as of yesterday) this has been a pretty nifty experience. My lab partner's name is Kimmy and our rat's name is Grant. He's sort of cute once you get used to the creepy red eye thing. Right now we're working on magazine training. For those of you who aren't in the class, this just means that we're conditioning (or teaching) him to understand that when the operant chamber makes a certain sound water is dispensed in a specific place. He has to learn this first so we can use the water as reinforcement when we start operantly conditioning him to press a lever. Grant is sort of stubborn and a bit lazy, but we know that he's smart, and he's going to get it eventually, we're sure of it. :)

It's Spring...But You'd Never Know that Looking Out My Window

It's spring! And it seems like I've had quite a few adventures recently, so I figured that I maybe should consider mentioning some of them, so without further stalling...and in no particular order of importance or preference...here we go:

• This last weekend I went down to Payson with my roommates. Brittnay, Amy, and Paige are all from Payson and they wanted us to come to the Color Festival at the Hari Krishna temple with them. Even though the girls don't exactly like my music (we took the mini-van so we'd have more room...and when I drive the rule is "My car, my music") I like to think that we all had a really good time. The color festival was such a cool experience, and something I totally would do again. The festival is to celebrate the beginning of spring. Basically, everyone has this neon colored dust and you throw it at each other, and then, when the time is right, everyone throws what remains of their dust into the air. The air was so thick with the haze of powder that it was basically impossible to see or breathe...but in a cool way. We took some pretty cool pictures too...I'll post some when they're on facebook so I have access to them (did I mention that my camera has been MIA since sometime first semester?).
• Spring Break was the third week in March. Let me tell you what, I was in desperate need of some time away from classes. I love to learn. I always have. But boy oh boy did I need a break. Spring Break had a lot of mini-adventures. Skyler and I were determined to do something that we don't normally do, so we went miniature golfing, to dinner, and then we drove up the canyon to check out some real stars. Mel and I had a sleepover. I saw Alice in Wonderland(a movie I have loved all three times that I saw it, no matter what anyone else says) with Grant and then with my family. I got to see "The Wedding Singer" with my little sister and laugh at her when she cried during "If I Told You" (in her defense, she was having a bad day). Elisha and I hung out a lot and giggled a ton...we don't do that nearly often enough. I got to visit mom at school and listen to yet another one of her rockin lectures. It was sweet!
• My little brother turned twelve on the last day of Spring Break. I was so excited to be there for when he got ordained a deacon. It's so weird to think that my baby brother can pass the sacrament! Who gave him permission to grow up? I know Mom and Dad didn't, and neither did I.
• I finally got over the pneumonia I managed to catch. Go figure...
• I've been on a total reading kick for the past month. So far this month I've read...

Mila 18 by Leon Uris

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Sorcery and Cecilia by Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer

The Grand Tour by Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer

and I'm currently in the middle of rereading "A Ring of Endless Light"

by Madeleine L'Engle