A Moment of Clarity

You know, I really hate being confused. I can't stand that weird place where you know that things should make sense, but they just don't. I hate all the analyzing and overthinking I do when I'm in that place. I'm more than willing to admit that confusion is just a part of life. If everything just made sense right when we wanted it to we wouldn't have anything to learn. Luckily for me and the world, I like to learn. And even though there are situations and circumstances that break your heart when you don't want them to and frustrate you when you already feel like you're going to fall apart, I need those, because I learn from them. I don't want to need those experiences. In fact, if I could just get to a perfected place without them, I would totally pass them up. If I could just know the lessons that I'm supposed to be getting from having experienced the things I've experienced, that would be remarkable. But I'm just a human girl. A human girl with a bunch of faults that I wish I didn't have. A human girl who is stubborn and desperately wants that thing called "happily ever after" that I've heard about my whole life. The funny thing is, if I were in charge, I would foolishly forego the trials and the experiences that are turning me into the kind of woman who will get her happily ever after when it's time for happily ever after. Fortunately I have a Heavenly Father who knows what I need in the long run and still gives me those experiences. So even though right now I sort of wonder from time to time if I'm going to be able to continue to press forward, I know that it's going to be okay. I know that there's a plan. I know that someday in the future I'll be able to look back and that's when all the haze of confusion will be gone. That is when I will be able to clearly see why things happened the way they did. Until that day though, I'm glad that I can have little moments of clarity that remind me that there is a plan. I'm glad for the little moments of clarity that remind me that I have a Savior and a Father in Heaven who both love me immensely. And they know I can do it. And for now knowing that is enough.